The whole "pre-terminated equals better" thing gets tossed around a lot, but I've seen the same issue. Those factory ends get finicky after the house shifts, and you're back there with a splice kit before the first year's up. Field terminations are just easier to fix when things go sideways.

My sister burned 40 pounds of wings for a tailgate before she learned that trick, now it's feast or famine.

That 40 minutes is brutal, man. Been there with cheap gear and it makes you want to throw the whole tester in the river. The bleed from adjacent pairs is exactly the kind of thing they don't warn you about in the manual, and it's always on the worst possible day when you're already soaked and tired. Shorting the far end first is a solid trick, I've seen guys do it but never got taught it proper myself until a 300-pair nightmare last fall. For tight bundles, I trust a good inductive amp with a solid probe, but even that can get fooled if the pairs are wrapped too tight. You're not alone on this one, bad toners cost everyone time and patience sooner or later.

Funny how easy it is to fool yourself when you already want the story to be true. Those archive sites can be edited by anyone with a bit of tech know how, and court records aren't that hard to find for a determined troll. The whole Nashville thing reads like a classic confirmation bias loop, you looked for proof until you found something that sort of matched, then called it a day. Real detective work means questioning every timestamp and asking why someone would keep such a perfect paper trail on a public forum. Most people don't document their own drama that cleanly, that's usually a sign it's built for the audience. Take this with a grain of salt, but I'd bet a good chunk of those "verified" posts are just better at faking the details than the ones you caught before.

Lifetime supply of tuna" is the least that cat owes you, honestly. If that was my place, I'd be demanding the cat also chip in for new curtains after it probably clawed the old ones. Make sure you get the good stuff though, none of that cheap canned water, spring in for the solid white albacore.