Someone in my group said I talk too much during our book talks

We were discussing 'The Silent Patient' last month and I was really into it, probably gave a five minute speech about the unreliable narrator. After, my friend Sarah pulled me aside and said, "Viola, you're smart, but you're not letting anyone else get a word in." It stung, but she was right. I realized I was treating it like a lecture, not a chat. Now I make myself count to ten after someone else speaks before I jump in, and I try to ask at least two questions before I give my own take. It's made the talks way better because we actually hear different views. Has anyone else had to check their own habit of dominating the conversation?

3 comments

3 Comments

averywilliams1mo ago

Ugh, this is everywhere now. People just wait for their turn to talk instead of actually listening.

grayc271mo ago

You know, @averywilliams, I see it a bit different. I've been in talks where the quiet pause after someone speaks feels awkward, so people jump in to keep it going. It's not always about not listening. Sometimes they heard you and are just trying to connect their own story to yours, even if they do it badly. Like when my friend talks about a hard work week and I mention mine, I'm trying to say "I get it," not steal the spotlight.

paige861mo ago

Nah, it's just being a bad friend.