The moment I realized 'gaslighting' was not just for arguments with my partner

I kept hearing this word used everywhere online, on podcasts, in group chats, so I figured it meant any time someone makes you doubt your own memory, like a general thing. Then last month my coworker in Chicago said 'stop gaslighting me about the client's deadline' when I simply showed her the email thread, and it hit me that I was using it wrong the whole time. The tip-off was when she laughed and said 'that's not gaslighting, that's just you being annoying with facts,' and I looked it up. Turns out it's specifically about a pattern of manipulation to make someone question their sanity, not just any disagreement or lying. I felt dumb because I'd been casually throwing it around for months to describe minor mix-ups with my roommate and my boss. Has anyone else realized they were misusing a popular buzzword and had an embarrassing moment when they got called out on it?

2 comments

2 Comments

caleb26221d ago

Man I once told my therapist she was gaslighting me for pointing out I forgot our session time. She just smiled and said, "No, that's called being on time." I wanted to crawl under the couch. Now I just stick to calling people "annoying with facts" myself.

david3721d ago

Honestly, I hear you, but maybe she had a point. If you're paying someone to remember your stuff, forgetting the session yourself is kinda the whole deal, so calling it gaslighting is a stretch. I mean, the couch crawl is real though, we've all been there.