Try skipping the insulation and see what happens. You'll get a free biology lesson on mold growth in your ceiling. Nothing says home improvement like replacing soggy drywall. It's only a big deal if you mind water damage.

You ever think maybe we watch too many home reno shows? @the_sarah, those pros make it look easy after years of practice, so comparing your third try to that isn't fair. Mudding is really about letting your hands learn the right pressure and angle, which just takes time. Why expect it to be perfect when even the messy bits sand down smooth later? Getting frustrated just makes your grip tense up and the mud harder to spread. Honestly, maybe the toddler look is a good sign you're not overworking it and leaving enough material to sand.