Did you even try stuffing it in the sizer before you got to the gate? I got burned the same way on a Frontier flight last spring, $59 fare to Phoenix, then $79 at the gate because my bag was about an inch too tall for that stupid metal frame. The trick I keep hearing is wearing a vest with a million pockets and stuffing your clothes in it, but I have never had the guts to try it with a gate agent watching. At this point I just pay for the carry-on up front and stop pretending I beat the system, because those fees always catch up with you.

Marcus has been sitting in your chair for years and never once tipped?

Sticky note fell behind your desk in El Paso?! That's brutal.